JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I need to align my fucking chakras
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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