Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
