WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize