You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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