Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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