i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
