i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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