:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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