Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
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