Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
