I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I got inside last night via doggy door
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
