I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Randomize
