I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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