Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
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