his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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