we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
