I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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