those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
