We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
