im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Randomize
