You made me cry and you don't even care
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
You smell like a Billy Joel song
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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