Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize