But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
