ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
