I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
