google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
