Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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