The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
there is glitter all over my balls
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize