Your dad touched me again.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
