I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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