i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
it's great music for shaving your balls
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
