Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
