operation harelip BJ is a go
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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