Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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