It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
