How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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