I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
you didnt know i had herpes?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
