Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
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