Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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