i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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