my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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