Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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