atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
