i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
