Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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