you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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