I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
