i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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