I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
