i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
And then the night went full on bisexual.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
