Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize