I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Randomize
