plz talk dirty to me
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
