how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
