wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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