He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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