oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
