i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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