his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
