Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
